Screaming Infidelities by Dashboard Confessional

I'm missing your bed, I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak
And this bottle of beast is taking me home.

I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets
You're not alone and you're not discreet.
You make sure I know who's taking you home.

I'm reading your note over again,
There's not a word that I comprehend,
Except when you signed it:
"I'll love you always and forever"

As for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
And sit alone and wonder, how you're making out.
And as for me I wish that I was anywhere, with anyone, making out.

I'm missing your laugh, How did it break?
And when did your eyes Begin to look fake?
I hope you're as happy as you're pretending

I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets
I am alone in my defeat
I wish I knew you were safely at home

I'm missing your bed, I never sleep.
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak.
And this bottle of beast is taking me home.

Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
And sit alone and wonder...How you're making out.
And as for me I wish that I was anywhere, with anyone...
Making out

Your hair it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities and taking its wear.
Your hair it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities and taking its wear.
Your hair it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities and taking its wear.
Your hair it's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities and taking its wear.

The sick sick reality

of realising that you mean nothing to something you gave your life to...
this is quite overwhelming and i'm actually physically shaking.

Let it be known

I hate my life

Come fly with me

Tomoro I have to get up at about 3am.
I'm flying to Amsterdam then to New York.
Thats where I'll be for the best part of the week, but my heart will be firmly put here.

I am in agony.
See you next week.

12.2.1987

"Aquarian Traits: Original, Inventive, Friendly, Intellectual, Humanitarian, Honest, Loyal, and Independent"

Today I turned 21, happy birthday to me right?! Well what was a pleaseant day was somewhat empty. Vacant. Hollow?
I screwed up my birthday last year, and a great girl made me see the priorities, and I gues I just wanted to show her this year how much she meant to me.
I have a great family who made my birthday worthwhile, but it was still incomplete.
Not all birthday wishes come true. Infact my 'only' birthday wish didn't. I would give anything for her to be here with me.

I can't help but feel erased... I have received some bad information and I feel as if I am being forgotten.

I haven't let go.
She's still a part of me.

I have not felt worse

Constantly sick and anxious.
this can't be happening.









.......you are beautiful and i love you.

D-Fens is free

I am off work for the next two weeks... This is something I cannot wait for for many reasons.

I need the break. Amen.

Oh yeah - and incase you wonder this is how I look when i am working:

Also a shout out to my friend Bob Done, him and his wife are expecting their first child - so congratulations. He's full of great wisdom and does aweosome tattoos.

When One Eight Becomes Two Zeros

And here it is folks, as promised heres a proper post. Don't blink.

So where do I begin...?
Well 2008 ain't off to the best of starts. Most of the bad shit has happened in the last 1-2 weeks, which I can honestly say have been the worst of my life so far, I believe.
They have reshaped absolutley everything in my life and turned so much upside down...

I'm gonna try and skim round quiet alot of the details because its not pleaseant going over everything again, and I have shed too many tears as it is, which can't be good. But basically I am absoloutly heartbroken and feel very disheartened with everything because for the last 2 years my life has been on the up for sure. I feel very upset and sick constantly and just all round terrible. Every song feels like it is directly talking to me - why is that?!!! Don't even get me started on my iPod - everysong is a constant reminder of how good my life used to be. my room is a cell of memorabilia of a better life. Boo.

I'm not really feeling the whole Spiderman comics just now, but I am aware that there was a story arc called "One More Day" or something - and I kinda feel as if i'm in a similiar situation of just thinking if I had one more day to put everything to right. Maybe I overthought that one, but I know people will agree with me on that one.

Unfortunately this downer isn't gonna cease. I've lost my best friend. One day you might get some witty posts from me that require you to hunt me down on myspace and congratulate me on my humour, but for the time being I am literally in continual mourning.

I think whatever happens I will forever be tortured by the idea and notion of "what if" - and thats something I guess I am going to have to live with.

I'm not gonna lie - this probably won;t be the last time you hear about this....
Love hurts.

tired/lazy

i will update this tomoro when i finish.
i promise
super big with loads of things to laugh and mostly cry about.

dont blink

Testing one, two....Is this thing on?!

Um.... Whut?
I don't even kno if this thing is working or not, it will probably have a drastic make-over in a few days when i work out how to use it all n shit.

I got stories to tell...